Why don’t people ask if you are a mother before wishing you a happy day? I have difficulty with this holiday. Is it because I am a childless woman or is it because I remember struggling over the Hallmark selection for a card that said something that I really felt? Let’s see, “You’ll never break the bond of mother and daughter,” or “Wherever life takes us, we will always be there for each other,” “You are my best friend,” or the really mushy ones that talk about “all the little things you’ve done for me,”
Dam, I just wanted a card to say, “Have a good day.” Just because you gave birth does not necessarily make you a “mother” and certainly not always one to be celebrated. I know this holiday dates back to ancient Greece, who honored the mother of gods and President Wilson proclaimed it to be a national holiday in 1914, but I think it is sad that we are told by greeting cards, flower shops and jewelry stores how and when we need to thank someone. If indeed you have all those special feelings, why wait once a year to express them? Shouldn’t we tell the ones we love and appreciate throughout the year?
Okay, so you might say I’m a little bitter, because I did not have the “Walton family,” or a “Leave it to Beaver” mom. I didn’t have a special bond, a best friend or a confidant with my mother. Once I left home to go to college, I never slept in her house again. In fact, the week after I moved out, she got rid of my remaining clothes and personal belongings – said she needed the storage. I also remember at age twelve, when I declared that I would never tell my mother anything I did not want everyone else to know. She could not keep a secret.
A significant event in my life was when I arrived at the Nashville airport after a year of my mother’s absence to hear the first words out her mouth, “Debbie, where’s yo lipstick?” Thus the name of my memoir in progress.
I’m not here to whine or play the victim, I’m sure I am not the only one who ponders over what to do on this so called “holiday.” But, don’t assume that every female is a mother, and please don’t wish someone a Happy Mother’s day unless you know they are a mother.
Now excuse me while I go have a drink with my “sistahs” and we contemplate issues other than frivolities bestowed to our mothers.
MAY ALL YOUR ROADS LEAD TO AN ADVENTURE
www.DeborahCLinker.com
